Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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