I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Found the puke drawer
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
