Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
