plz talk dirty to me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
