I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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