Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
