are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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