dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
