idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
