"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
