I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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