oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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