dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
