Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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