I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
