You work out of a Hotel?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
