Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize