Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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