Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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