Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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