ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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