I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
