Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
