We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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