theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
