Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize