Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
