Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
