I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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