Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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