May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
