i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
