i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
