dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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