I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
