some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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