sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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