he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I AM VODKA MAN
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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