: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
