What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize