Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
