I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
