ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
two words: eviction party
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
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