Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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