he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize