This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
