Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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