have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
