I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
