Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
