just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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