just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
