her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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