____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So much rum. So many feels.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
