I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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