I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
