okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
