At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
