I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
