we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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