It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
