just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
