she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize