my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
