i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
