just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
